my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
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