This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Randomize
