I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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