they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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