So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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