I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
