Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
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