why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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