She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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