I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
