My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
