Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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