stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
