Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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