More tranny stories later!
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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