So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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