yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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