Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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