i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
