it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Randomize
