I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
