You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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