I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
