His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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