Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
