I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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