somebody snuck up and got me drunk
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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