Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
