The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
