Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
