i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
