mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
do herpes really smell.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
