i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
