come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
