I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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