I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
