don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I wear drunk well.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
