honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
