Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
