so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
You are a genius and a whore.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
