So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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