I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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