After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
