First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
