what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
i now understand why vodka
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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