Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
