my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
We smell like vodka and hangover
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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