what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
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