i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Randomize
