ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
