do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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