She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
