You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize