Plan B is the new Plan A
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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