Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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