im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize
