my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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