I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
