he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
