The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
