well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
