I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize