I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
