is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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