Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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