I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
