I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
